Happy relationships are wonderful things. I once knew confirmed bachelor who told me he wasn’t against marriage — he was against bad marriages. With that, I must agree. No marriage (or relationship) is far superior to a bad one.
This coming September, my husband and I will celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary. Occasionally when I have mentioned our long relationship to someone, I’ve been asked, “Yes, but are you happily married?” Yep, happily married.We’ve had the usual ups and downs, and gone through periods that seemed way more down than up, but whenever we’ve been knocked off our pins, we’ve fought to recover, and here we are. Still here. Still married. Still happy.
But neither of us gushes about it. Maybe women tend to gush more than men — intuitively, that would be my guess. But I’ve seen men gush, too. It always strikes me as a little odd when I see people gushing about their significant other on Facebook. And it struck me as odd before the days of Facebook when people would do it in conversation. I just was never sure why a person would feel the need to tell me “I just love him so much!” ‘kay. Good. I assume that’s why you’re with him.
And interestingly, in my observation, the amount of gushing does not seem to be connected in any way to whether people actually have happy relationships or whether they stay together.
I recently read an article that pointed out that real happiness comes from simply being in happy relationships. It in no way enhances the quality of your relationship to tell others about happy you are. The article went on to observe, “For people who understand this, constantly posting on social media has little appeal.”This article really pinpointed how I’ve always felt about people who feel the need to tell me how much they love someone. It feels to me as if they’re somehow using the person they love to prove something to me. What’s the point of that?
I can only conclude that it’s obvious that my husband and I love each other and are happy together, and the people who gush about how great their own relationships are want to prove to me that they are just as happy and just as in love. Or in the case of those who post it to their 463 close Facebook friends, it’s some kind of a search for popularity, a need for oneupmanship. Look how happy I am, over the moon, blissfully, ridiculously, madly happy and in love. Don’t you wish you had this, too?
Actually, I do have it. But having it or not having it is not determined by whether you know I have it.